Radio silence

So..
I'm leaving for my first day at uni in an hour. I'm not scared, anxious or excited. I'm curious about what it's going to be like though. February was a whole lot of nothing, from memory, although Soundwave was last Friday. I got badly sunburnt, listened to some good bands and generally enjoyed myself. More on that later. I had a good dream last for the first time since god knows when, and I finally have a proper sleep cycle.

Take its broken waist in your hand.

So..
Gather round people
I'll tell you a story
A ten year long story
Of power and pride....

Not really. I have been neglecting CD recently, which you might have noticed (and let's face it, you haven't) means that I've been keeping busy and not dwelling on depressing things to write up here. But I have to write this one, or I'll be breaking a promise and we can't have that can we?

So yeah, been busy. More on that another time. But I'm kind of annoyed at the moment. School's out forever, and I somewhere in the back of my mind, I guess I always assumed that after high school you somehow magically grew up, that relationships became "mature" overnight somehow. But I haven't changed a bit, as usual. And I know that now I'll meet many new people, form new friendships as well as maintain old ones. But I don't want to meet new people or make new friends. And I can't be bothered working to maintain contact with the 15 or so people I care about.

I just want my conversations in the classroom and the library back, my old childish romanticism and my stressful school life back. Buuuut I can't. I never wanted to grow up, but I've said that a million times.

So uh, what else. Marriage is depressing (cf. Take This Waltz) and so is a lot of other things. I'm sick of feeling like its a crime to tell a girl she's beautiful and sick of feeling sad, lonely and cold. I'm sick of a lot of things. I guess nothing is wrong right now. But there's nothing in particular to look forward to either.

Get up, go do my course, convene with the extended family for Christmas. Organise doctors appointments. Go to Soundwave. Accept my first round offer and organise for uni. Go to uni. So on, so on. Nothing in my immediate future is exciting. I used to get really depressed over the pointlessness of my life, now I just try to accept it and find things to enjoy.

 So that's about it I think.

I been thinking about you baby

So..
Apart from the (renewed) soul-crushing realisation of my depressing life and general inadequacy that descended upon me between 7pm and 11pm 12pm tonight, I had a rather good day today. Got some work done, excitedly examined new computer parts, sold school books and had a fulfilling dinner for once. So go away Mr Soul crushing realisation, I want to sleep. Here's something beautiful to listen to.

P.S. Oh yeah, and exams and stuff. Whatever.
P.P.S. Why do I have to have such a stupid brain.

P.P.P.S. I don't need this three days before my last exam.

What I've been listening to.

So..
Now that I've been released from the pressure of doing a good 200th post, I can get back to the business of my normal posting. I'm not going to write about what I did between my 198th and 200th posts, since I a.) can't be bothered and b.) can't remember. Which is a pity, but life goes on. Instead, here's a bunch of songs I've been listening to.

Thought this one would depress me, but it made me laugh instead. The chorus isn't amazing, but whatever.

This one did depress me once I listened to the lyrics properly.

Been meaning to listen to this again for ages, finally did. It's nice enough

... Catchy I guess. Video's not very good.

Chorus is the only good part of this to be honest

Watch this. Right now.

Ah, 90s rap.

It's a great song guys. Honest!

Old Blink-182, in preparation for Soundwave.

She's got a good voice. This video tripped me out first time I saw it though. On Rage. At like 11, when I'm half-asleep on the couch.

Meh. Fun.

Things that are in my 200th post.

• Pretty girls at parties I can't talk to
• Watching movies late at night
• The Dark Night Rises and why it's awesome
• Stand Up and Fight by Turisas and why it's awesome.
• Words with u's instead of o_e's
• Daria
• 90's music
• Lolita by the Veronicas and everything that's wrong with it
• Runaway by The Killers and how it makes me sad.
• Alternative bullshit
• How disappointing it is that alternative is the new mainstream
• Irony and the word I actually want to use
• Poor Unfortunate Souls and the importance role of Disney villains in my upbringing
• How I don't think I've actually seen Snow White
• The fact I never keep promises.
• Complaining: A Study
• Exams
• School homework and how I'm not doing it
• Flirting, how not to do it.
• Flirting, how do you do it?
• Zombie Nation by Kernkraft 400
• Raymond E Feist's novels
• Alcohol and why I hate it
• My mind and why I hate it
• My mind and why I love it
• My body and why it's dumb
• My hair and what to do with it.
• The impact of an interesting name
• Homosexuality: The pros and cons.
• Basketball: Why I should do it more.
• Suits and how buying a suit has furthered my understanding of Barney Stinson
• Money and how I don't have any.
• The irritation that springs from not being allowed to put a comma before an and.
• Why I refuse to tell anyone about my problems.
• Why I hide stuff from my friends.
• La Femme Nikita, what I thought.
• What "THIS. IS. SPARTA." is actually like in it's original context (still completely random)
• Steam, Steam sales and saving $400 by spending $100
• Why I laugh at unfunny things
• The illusion of control
• The Binding of Isaac
• How to maintain a conversation.
• Why I just can't like some people.
• The state of my shoes.
• The state of my fingers
• The state of my room (lol)
• Lol and how IM words have influenced society.
• Why I want to kill myself sometimes
• Why I want to kill everyone else sometimes.
• How boring I am
• Clubbing: Pros and Cons
• The importance of Capitalisation: Is there any?
• Anticlimaxes
• Why I won't tell disgusting jokes to girls
• Chivalry and how I'm probably not a zombie
• Why Blogger depresses me
• Why I haven't posted in so long.
• How my parents seperation has affected my grades: A SEAS application in 2000 characters
• How my mental state has affected my grades: A SEAS application in 2000 characters
• How I'm not probably not going to get to kiss a girl for a while
• Complaining: Why no-one should listen to me.
• My old drafts and why I don't want you to read them
• Pseudonyms and who they are.
• Why my grandmother being in hospital freaked me out.
• Why I like hospitals
• The importance of having a best friend.
• Why pictures of beautiful women piss me off
• Why I shouldn't miss sleep
• Why I shouldn't drink.
• How I can dance (or why I can't)
• Why my blog has a search function
• Why my birthday was a disappointment.
• What loneliness feels like (like you're standing in a room with nothing in it and you know if you go outside the room there will only be another room like the first, so you just stand there and look at the wall and you want to scream but there's no-one to hear and if no-one hears you are you even there?)
• The Mile High Club and what it's worth
• Manic depression, other mental illnesses and how the psychologist was full of shit, I'm not interesting enough to have a disorder.
• How these dot points are getting longer (I notice this stuff) and how only some of them have full stops.
• Happiness and how to bring it to people
• Blood and why I should give it
• Fucks and why I should give them (it's a joke!)
• Why I feel more comfortable talking with gay guys than gay girls
• Bisexuality and why I'm straight.
• Why talking is better than typing.
• Nail-biting as a form of self-mutilation.
• Why you shouldn't believe everything you read on the internet.
• Anger and how to deal with it
• Dermatophagia
• My mother and why I don't care.
• Comedy and why its good.
• More of my personal problems in one post than the previous 199.
• How bad it is.

Dependence and Relationships.

So..
And now for something completely different


Independence

1. not being influenced or controlled by others in matters of opinion,conduct, etc.; being able to think or act for oneself
2. not being subject to another's authority or jurisdiction;autonomous; free
3. being uninfluenced by the thought or action of others
4. not dependent; not depending or contingent upon something else for existence, operation, etc.
5. not being reliant on another or others for aid or support.

Financial Independence

1. the state of having sufficient personal wealth to live indefinitely without having to work actively for basic necessities.
2. the ability to manage your money in such away that you have sufficient funds to live your chosen lifestyle without assistance from others.
   
3. To be able to meet all current and future cash outflows with passive cash inflows.

Emotional Independence

1. To not be reliant on the opinions and emotions of others to be happy; to not allow others to influence one's emotional state.

Relationships

I noticed a few weeks ago that you can't be taught how to be in a relationship, or how to relate to people. I say noticed, because I think I always kinda knew it, but I never actually realised it. If you know what I mean (and you should, you're smart aren't you?). Relationships, especially intimate ones, are things you have to work out on your own. And as you do, you find out more about yourself. From my relationships I think I've learned a few things about myself. I'm passionate and loving, but often superficial. I'm jealous and I don't bond with people readily. I'm trusting, but if you break my trust I'm slow to forgive. I can be manipulative if I let my self stop caring. I'm not very loyal and I apologise too much. I complain too much. I'm bad at understanding people. I take sides easily, but I don't often think badly of people.

I realised (properly realised, not just noticed) that I have better friends than I thought. I spoke to a guy at school yesterday, idly complaining about my general lack of direction, motivation or prospects. His reply was not what I expected. Instead of making a general statement about looking at the positives or some crap, as I am accustomed to, he made a sincere and thoughtful response that I didn't know how to answer. What he said itself wasn't what amazed me, but the fact that he actually went to the trouble of listening to me complaining and thought about what I said for more than the time it took to change the subject. In this fast-track brave new world, the fact that he stopped to think seems important.

This is my 199th post. I wanted to do something special for my 200th, but I can't think of one. Finally, I wanted to include an amazing quote from the book Magician by Raymond E. Feist. Unfortunately, I didn't note the page when I read it, and the thing's over 800 pages long. You should go read it, it's an amazing book. If I find the quote again it's going straight up here.


Found it. The internet is a wonderful place.


"There are many ways to love someone. Sometimes we want love so much, we're not too choosy about who we love. Other times, we make love such a pure and noble thing, no poor human can ever meet our vision. But for the most part, love is a recognition, an opportunity to say, "There is something about you I cherish." It doesn't entail marriage, or even physical love. There's love of parents, love of city or nation, love of life, and love of people. All different, all love."
-Raymond E. Feist, Magician. p. 438, 5th Ed.

Sweet dreams.

I don't keep many promises.

So..
Argh I don't know what to say! Or where to start. I had a good day I've decided. Everyone's freaking out about exams it seems, and I am too, but at least my IT teacher's given me an extension for my IT SAC. I couldn't focus on either because I was worried about the other (or at least that's my excuse). Not to mention the English and Lit practise SACs I should have done and the Maths I'm horribly behind in. But keeping positive...
Its been a pretty messy week. My room needs a clean, but at least I'm not going to die...I think.
So what's new. My hair's still long, my clothes are still cheap and my motivation is still (pretty) abysmal. But keeping positive...
I was really tired today for some reason, so hopefully I can get some sleep tonight.
Umm. I had a day off school, but went anyway to talk to my IT teacher and try and get some work done. But he wasn't there so I had to email him - which is appropriate I guess, but I didn't want to for some reason :S
I really wanna watch Tangled again. Oh, I saw Tangled. And Mulan. And Mulan 2, Aladdin and Aladdin 2 (not all in one day silly). I went on a kind of Disney binge :D. And a Disney music binge. The number of times I've heard "Prince Ali" today..

Robin Williams is a brilliant actor. Just incredible.

What else. I played games (being me) and had noodles for dinner, which I haven't had in aaaages.

Tangled is awesome.

Man I'm tired. This hasn't been a very interesting post. I noticed that I forgot to add tags to my last few posts, so I might do that before bed. Then tomorrow, basketball (maybe) and revision! Fun!

So yeah.

Oh. And my 18th birthday is in a few days. I.. well, I don't really care. I'm not having a party, because I'm not a party person, but I'll get together a few guys for a birthday chill-out after exams. That's good enough for me I think.

So that's it from me until my Psych exam is over.

Oh, and this tune is just... awesome. I love it. You have to listen to the bit after 1:40 though -.-.

Night!

Oh and guys, I've decided. I want a castle!

Impressions of Soundwave

Excitement. Nervousness. Tension. Tired on the train. Excited. Massive crowds. Under 18s entrance, wish I could keep my ticket. Gotta find the stage. It's hot. I need sunscreen. Steel Panther! That was fun. I'm getting burnt. Lostprophets. This is dull. Oh look sunscreen. Where's the next act? Not here. Not here. Here we are! Urgh they suck. Bring out Turisas already. Waiting. YEAH! They look awesome. I don't know this song. What an epic violinist. Yeah! rara RASPUTIN! HolmGARD! and beyond! That was awesome. What should we do now? ooh merchandise! No Slipknot tees? damn. Is my face red? That sucks. Lets sit down. Bored. Man I'm tired. Hey look at that cute girl. Do de do, I'm not staring. Tired. Music? okay. Why am I so tired? Snore. Waiting. Waiting. Let's go check out the other merch stall. Yay slipknot! I want a large Slipknot tee please. What size? ...Large... Here you go. Yay! But I don't want to wear two shirts. Lets sit in the stands. Two more hours to Slipknot. Oh man Limp Bizkit suck live. Snore. Half an hour more of Limp Bizkit? oh man. Bored. Switched shirts. Ok let's go down. How do I cross this barrier to the mosh? Nope wrong way. They're not letting people in this way either. Here we go. I hope they don't stop me going in. Here we are. Now to wait for an hour for Manson to finish. Do de do. Damn I don't have phone reception. Here's some. Waiting. Oh cool, a Manson song I know. Wow, he can not  sing that live. Man he's ugly. Do de do. Slipknot slipknot! Come on come out already. Which song is that the intro to? Come ooon come oon. Yes! Fuck yes! Wow I can get quite close to the stage. Man my ears hurt. Circle pit circle pit! Run away! OK I am not going in one of them. AAH how did I get in here?! Hmm that wasn't so bad. I love this song! I am so out of breath. Surprising number of chicks in the mosh.  Man this song is epic. AHH circle pit again! Push! I'm covered in other men's sweat. ewww. Why am I always stuck in the middle of the girls. Its weird. Oh my god oh my god oh my god. SPIT IT OUT! Yes! Are we gonna do it or not? Damn looks like not. Oh wait. Yes Yes Yes YES YES! CRAZY TEST! Wait a second. HOLY SHIT Sid is right behind me. This is amazing. OK wait for it. Waaaaiiit for iiiit. JUMP THE FUCK UP! dammit I went too early. Oh well. Jump! jump! Oh cool crowd surfers. Dammit I don't know this one. Do de do. Or this one. Sing the chorus anyway. Man that was good. My legs are sore. What time is it. Where's Angels & Airwaves. Here we are. Oh man I'm tired. Hurry up and finish. I need a drink. Pepsi, no Solo. Waiting. Waiting. I'm gonna sit over here. Waiting. OK I'm gonna go here now. Do want to go on my shoulders? OK. What a cool boyfriend. Do de do. Down you go. Bored. bored. My ears are hurting. I'm gonna go lie down. Ah I could sleep here. Tiiired. OK they're done. Can we go home now? I'm so tired. Let's go home.

Next morning: WHY DOES EVERYTHING EXCEPT MY LEGS HURT?

I, want to kill, everybody in the world. I, want to eat your heart.

So..
Dammmit. I reaalllly wanna listen to dubstep right now but its ten to six in the morning and my neighbours wouldn't appreciate it. And I definitely don't want dad to wake up. I haven't felt tired all night, which can't be good. Hmmm. I guess I should get some homework done.

My head aches. Fuck.

The awkward moment when you realise you've never worked hard to get something your whole life and you probably never will.

So..
I bought Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites by Skrilllex and Worlds Collide by Apocalyptica. Now I'm going to bed.

Because my blog's background is black, it feels like all I'm doing is yelling into an endless empty void.

As long as I breathe, I'll call you my home.

So..
I'm feeling better. I want to go to bed and I'm writing this to avoid my Psych homework, but I'm feeling better.
This is my new favourite song. I wanted to cry listening to it this morning. Isn't that crazy? Still, I thought it was beautiful, emotional. No accounting for taste I suppose.

Sometimes I just want to listen to soft songs, happy love songs. Too bad I can't remember any. I found this though, which suits.

 

I don't know what else to say. Please listen to both songs. They're good, I promise.

So yeah...:)

Back to Psych I guess.

*beats head against wall*

So..

I've been listening to this song over and over. I like it. I can't be bothered explaining all the stuff behind the singer's origins and shiz. It's not that interesting. Look it up if you really want, but I don't mind if you don't.

I'm finally trying to learn from my mistakes

So..
I apologise for my last post. Sometimes I just need to let things out, yell at something or someone, to say "I'm here! I feel pain too!"

Sometimes I get stuck in this world where political correctness is king and we have to watch everything we say in case they call as mad or dangerous. Particularly when I am mad and dangerous. :). Or not. Anyway, I'm calmer now, going to bed. I realised in the end that its only school. Honestly. That's it. You'd think we'd be used to it after the last 11 years. It's just school. Not war, or a life-or-death situation. It's important to understand what's really important, or else I get bogged down in regret and fear. And I do want to live proudly and boldly and without regrets, I'm just really bad at it. Anyway, it's time I went to bed. While you're here though, listen to this:



which you've probably heard
and this:



which you no doubt haven't. Really, listen to them. For me?

Finally, I've been stalking weheartit and I just might have something to show for it.

 The correct answer is no. At the very least, toast toast bread.

Damn right!

Owned

I love you Insanity Wolf.

Nighty night.


P.S. This content mood will not last. Don't worry :)

The things we think of at night.

So..
Right. I think it's time for another blog post don't you? I heartily apologise for my last one - I think I need to be saved from myself sometimes. Or a lot. Anyway.

It's been about a week and a half since my last post. Lots of interesting stuff's happened since then. Rise Against's concert was amazing. If you've ever been to Festival Hall in Melbourne, imagine it packed out, every person with a phone or lighter in their hand, singing along to this:

Simply beautiful.
They played a couple of songs I didn't know and a lot I did :D. Hero of War and Satellite are two new ones I've picked up and adored.
The night following the concert was Camelgirl's birthday party! I had to wear a suit and the long hair just didn't work with it. Ah well. A better party than I was expecting, got home around 12 I think. Or was it 1. Something like that. Anyway, Wombat slept over, which was cool.

School was annoying this week, but I gave a cool oral presentation in Literature so I'm happy with that. I don't think it gets marked though unfortunately. Thursday was Wombat's birthday, so he slept over again. Then Friday (yesterday) was Wombat's birthday party, hosted at my house. I made a mud cake, which was delicious, and his sister made a choc ripple cake, which was also delicious (but not as good as mine of course). We mostly played videogames and ate crap food. Pizza for dinner, then at 1030 we went to another party and stayed there til...2. That party was okay, but not really my kinda thing. Still, I enjoyed myself well enough, and Wombat, Sponge, Unkle and Rug stayed over. I'm really bad at the whole nickname thing aren't I?

So today I woke up after <4 hours sleep and had pizza and mud cake for breakfast. I messed around on the computer, said goodbye to the boys and had Weet-Bix for lunch. Then I had a nap before heading off to basketball on about 4 and a half hours sleep. Lost basketball, came home shower blardy blah.

Hmmm.
Ah.

The above graffiti is (or was, I think it's at least partially covered up now) decorating a wall in this beloved city. I spotted it one day and resolved to take a photo of it but never did. I realised today that most likely someone else did get a snapshot of it. A quick search on google images and voila! Hope you like it.

Well I guess I better head off. Things to do ey wot.

P.S. I still have to do Lilah's tag. Must not forget that :)

So..
My thoughts are all jumbled in my head and I'm so good at getting myself down. I need to take control of some things, but I don't wanna. I'm stalling I realise, but I don't care. Just because I know I'm doing something, doesn't mean I can stop it. I don't think before I speak. I keep shouting at people my parents. Its...weird. I'm really really lonely.
Going to a Rise Against concert tomorrow. Gonna be awesome... hopefully. Listen to their new single Make It Stop (September Children). Yes that's an order. The lead singer was inspired to write it after seven (was it seven? I don't want to go on Wikipedia to check) LGBT teenagers committed suicide in September last year. I heard it a couple of times last night - yay Youtube - but this morning I played it in the car and I was close to crying by the end. Dunno why it was then but whatever. In fact, I'll embed it here. If I can...



Looks like it worked. Dad's being irritating. DAD GO AWAY. Urgh. I snapped at him. I just don't fucking care sometimes.

FUCK OFF DAD. 

There's a party on Friday night. Could be fun, but I can't find the tux I was going to wear. It's my brother's second hand one - mum's probably done something with it the bitch God I want to scream sometimes.

So anyway. I haven't talked about music for a while huh? Rise Against of course, but check out Nero's songs "Promises" "Guilt" "Me and You" and "Innocence". Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO - no doubt you've heard it already - as well as "Champagne Showers" and "Shots"
Slam by Pendulum and Camo & Krooked's remix of "Monster" by Professor Green. Very awesome.
Wow April? That's how long since I did a New Music list? Wow. There's Rammstein, Pendulum, Nightwish, Bliss n Eso, After Forever, shitloads of stuff. None of which I'm going to do tonight. Besides, if I dump it all on you at once, any minute chance you'd actually check it out would probably disappear.

I'd get a job, but i can't be bothered. I'd start a new blog, but I can't be bothered. I'd try in school, but I can't be bothered. I'd quit school, but I can't be bothered. I'd go outside, but I can't be bothered. I'd do a lot of things, but I can't be bothered. And let's face it, you can't be bothered reading this. I want.. a lot of things. who cares.

Why the hell does anyone ever get up in the morning? Why bother? Why keep trying? Why? Why? WHY?

 

I am a copy of a copy of a copy. a clone. Nothing. I am not a beautiful and unique snowflake. I am the same decaying organic matter as everything else. My ideas are plagarism. My life has been done before. My problems are old ones. My tragedies are boring and repetitive. There was only so much originality in the world and now it is gone. I was born original. I will die a copy. I do not. Fucking. Care.

Music stuff

So..

Strength In Numbers by Times Of Grace

What I think the opening lyrics are:

As we live in these dark days,

Filled with violence, opposition and hate,

There lies a place of saving grace,

Protected in the hearts of the humble,

The faithful, the ones who chose the path of resistance,

To protest, reject and proclaim, that our lives are not in vain,

In flesh, in spirit eternal,

One love.

One truth.

One destiny.

The actual opening lyrics:

As we live in these dark days

filled with violence, opposition and hate.
There lies a place of saving grace
Protected in the hearts of the humble
The faithful, the ones who choose the path of resistance to protest
Protect, save, proclaim our lives lived not in vain.
In flesh, in spirit eternal
One love, One truth, One destiny.

I was close.

Music I've found since my last music post (early March):

I Need A Doctor by Dr Dre featuring Eminem and Skylar Grey. I've kinda gotten tired of this now cause I listened to it so much but it is a really good song. I love the energy and emotion that Eminem injects into this song. Maybe that's just me.

 Coming Home by Diddy/Dirty Money featuring Skylar Grey.
Song of Storms Dubstep Remix by Ephixa. Song of Storms being from Zelda (I've never played it). Dubstep isn't bad, so check it out if you're a fan. Maybe you'll hate it.
The Grid and Derezzed off the Tron: Legacy soundtrack. Daft Punk did the score, they're good tracks.
Bullet With Butterfly Wings by (The?) Smashing Pumpkins. Go and listen to it right now. Freaking awesome.
Jolene by Dolly Parton. A classic. I don't like it that much but whatevs.
Disturbia by Rihanna. Fun song.
Insomnia by Faithless. "I can't get no sleep". Very good song.
Dance With The Devil by Immortal Technique. Disturbing, but powerful rap music.
Hurricane by 30 Seconds To Mars. Awesome video, awesome song.
Bye Bye Beautiful and Amiranth by Nightwish. Amazing. Heavy metal with a female vocalist. Works really well.
Cradle of Filth's cover of Hallowed Be Thy Name by Iron Maiden. I love it.
The Sea is Rising and a bunch of other stuff by Bliss n Eso.
Through the Glass by Stone Sour.
Screaming Bloody Murder by Sum 41.
The Time (Dirty Bit) and Just Can't Get Enough by The Black Eyed Peas.
Kings of Metal, Die with Honour, Warriors of the World by Manowar. I just love these guys for some reason, they make me feel really positive and optimistic.

That's all for now. I need to get some Hammerfall and Helloween (and more Manowar and Hatebreed), but that'll come later.

My next post is my 150th, so I might do something special. We'll see.

What I'm waiting for

So..

1. Portal 2, out in 5 days
2. Duke Nukem Forever, out June 10
3. Batman Arkham City, out October 19th
4. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, out May 20
5. Running on Air by Bliss n Eso
6. The Sickness 10th Anniversary Edition by Disturbed
7. Slipknot 10th Anniversary Edition by Slipknot
8. A Thousand Suns by Linkin Park
9. Screaming Bloody Murder by Sum 41
10. The chance to read the entire Sandman series
11. Inheritance, the last book in the Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini
12. A change for the better
13. Something that makes me whole
14. Someone new
15. Something worth living for
16. Something worth dying for
17. Something worth waiting for
    

It's been a while

So..
Wow. It's been a long time. A month since I posted last. And it isn't that I haven't had things to say. Things happened and I wasn't sure how to phrase it when I told the story, then I wasn't comfortable saying other things and the time just kept passing. I've decided I'm not going to try to explain it all, that I won't try. I promise I'm fine though, if you're worrying.

In general, the last month has been hectic. School is swallowing me whole, I don't think there's going to be anything left. I have a ton of homework I haven't even tried to start, and I think I'm failing. It's holidays now, so maybe, just maybe I'll be able to do something with myself.

On to some better news. Last night I went to the city and saw Good Charlotte! I dunno if there are many GC fans in among my followers, so maybe many of you don't mind. Anyway, to explain how I feel about Good Charlotte I have to go all the way back to Year 7, when (for those of you who don't live in Australia) I was 12. I just started high school and was pretty much a loner. The second friend I made, Wombat, showed me Good Charlotte one day and I was pretty hooked. I bought The Young and The Hopeless, the first album I ever bought with my own money, and listened to it over and over. Over time I got all their other albums and learned all the words to every song. Good Charlotte were my introduction to music, or at least modern music, considering the stuff my parents play at home. So by Year 9 or 10 I was pretty bored with GC, and when I got my new iPod I didn't put their albums on it, because I knew I wouldn't listen to them.

So, last December or so, I found out they were touring and decided to go for old times sake. And I did. I enjoyed the concert, but it didn't change how I feel about Good Charlotte overly much. My tastes have changed over time, that's all.

Now. I have plenty to say, but I think I'll leave it here for now. I feel like watching TV or something.
I'll write again soon, I promise.

Tryin' to hold these golden years that're flashing by

So..
I'm fine now. I think I needed to let myself out before I pulled back in. And talking with someone who's so disconnected helped. So now I'm just tired. My body, heart, soul and mind are tired.

A friend gave me Season's 1 and 2 of Skins. I've seen the first two eps and its pretty good.
School is hard, like always. Year 11 now means I've got less than two years left. High school is finishing fast.

New music (its been a while);

Golden Years by Bliss n Eso. It makes me a bit sad.

The Hard Road by Hilltop Hoods. It's okay.

The Downeaster Alexa by Billy Joel. An amazing so, check it out.

Young Blood by The Naked and Famous.

Teenage Crime by Adrian Lux.

Check Yes Juliet by We The Kings. I don't like it that much. I spose it's okay.

The Ballad of Mona Lisa by Panic At The Disco. Their new single, not too bad.

It's Not The End Of The World (But I Can See It From Here) by Lostprophets.

Infinite by Eminem. Early Eminem, check it out if you like his stuff.

Mehr and Weidmanns Heil by Rammstein.

Take Over Control by Afrojack.

Invaders Must Die by The Prodigy. Damn good.

I'm gonna be just fine. Everything really is going to be okay.

 

You know you want to ;) So do it!