.I believe I am beautiful. And for now, that's all I need.

So..
Well a new post is long overdue, and I'm sorry for the wait if you've missed me. I have a lot to say, so this'll be a long one. I know how irritating massive posts can be but I'll try to keep it interesting.

It's been two weeks since my last post. A lot has happened. The last week of school I actually got some work done and finished off pretty well. The last day I wandered around a bit in the city with a friend, but there wasn't anything to do so I went to Pizza Friday instead. It was a lot more fun. I don't remember much of it, but it was good.
So now it's holidays. I dont remember much of the first weekend, let's see. Lost basketball again, or did we win? i think it was close. No, we lost. But if we had another player we woulda won. I also saw Tomorrow When The War Began. It was a good movie.
All of last week I had work experience at the Australian Services Union (ASU). I put away shopping, put stickers on bags, ate crackers, helped with the mail, went to meetings and did lots of filing. It wasn't too bad, but I shoulda been paid more :P. It was 9-5, when I got home I generally just played xbox. On Thursday night I went with my dad and brother to see a movie called Boy. It was pretty sad and though it was a good movie, it wasn't my kinda movie so I didn't really like it.
I thought up this phrase on the way to work one morning. Just popped into my head.

Red paint spills across my canvas, like blood from the anvil.

III thought it was brilliant. I guess it is meant to symbolise how what is defined as 'art' can be very broad and that an intricate painting on canvas can be compared to a sword finely made through a blacksmith's hard work. Or something. The sentence just feels...pure. Like it's mine, my own completely original idea.

So after work experience was the weekend of course. No basketball because it's the middle of the holidays, so I went to a friend's place on Saturday (ignoring the football) and when I got home another friend came and slept over. On Sunday we went bowling (3 games, I won the last one because he suddenly got really bad) then came home and hung out. This morning I got up around 930 and messed around while my friend slept. I walked with him to his house in the rain and waited at his place for it to stop raining. It didn't, so I just left. Finally, I played computer games instead of doing homework and then watched Good News Week. I love that show, it's brilliant.

Tomorrow I'm going to Northland for a bit, then I'll have to come home and do homework because on Wednesday I have a dentist appointment then a bunch of people coming round for a sleepover. I'm not sure if it'll be very fun, but with some luck everyone will be happy enough :S.

Friday I'm going to see Easy A with some friends, all other times will be homework, xbox and computer.

OK, that's my holidays, in short. New music is:

Dynamite by that radio person
Summer Of '69 by Bryan Adams
Fader by Temper Trap
Livin' On a Prayer by Bon Jovi
Father and Son by Bob Dylan
Flame Trees by Cold Chisel
Perseverance by Hatebreed (truly brilliant)
Love Dump by Static-X (cool intro)
Free Your Hate by KMFDM

So now what?
I'm reasonably happy, content at least.
For once, I don't have a crush, or a fixation. I have girls I think about, but not too intensely. Is this how it is for normal people? If love comes to me, I'll take it. But right now, like this is fine.

It's interesting you know. When I think about someone liking me, obsessing over me like I do when I have a crush, it just doesn't work. I can't imagine it. It's not a sad thing, I'm not saying I'm impossible to love or anything depressing, it's just that I truly can't picture it. I can't imagine me having sex or making out or anything like that. It just doesn't work in my head. I wonder..

I remember walking across the road on Bell Street, singing along to Run To The Hills by Iron Maiden on my iPod. I was probably horribly out of tune, but I couldn't hear it and no one else could and it just felt so freeing. A moment of pure bliss and innocence. I don't know what else to say.

The only thing that I still believe in is you. If you only knew. (This doesn't mean anything right now, the line just makes me smile)

"We are men, we are not beasts and we do not intend to be beaten and driven as such."

Sometimes my eyes look as blue as the sky. Sometimes they are as green as emeralds. And sometimes, just sometimes, they shine like the stars above.

We fly stranger's flags

So..
I'm back from Canberra, and had a great time. I saw Rapskallion three times, The Ellis Collective two and a half times, Doc Jones twice, Mr Fibby three times, Emma Dean three times and Voss twice. I bought all their CD's except Mr Fibby and The Ellis Collective and had lots of fun.
On Saturday night at 10 30 I saw a band called Handsome Young Strangers, which was a bunch of 30-50 year olds (and a ten year old) singing old Australian songs while we danced. I've never danced so hard. Sunday morning, I got down off the double bed I was sleeping on and my Right leg literally wouldn't support my weight. A lot of fun though.
We(my family) were meant to leave Monday morning, missing out on the last day of the festival, but I decided to stay on my own and get the bus home. I thoroughly enjoyed the last few festivities and made some new friends, but unfortunately I had to leave early for the bus.
The bus was pretty bad. I dozed most of the time and watched Night At The Museum. It was a pretty annoying trip and I was so tired when I got to Southern Cross I was moving at like, 0.5k/h.
I spent lots of time on my own, but I didn't mind it for once. My brother has given me his crappy guitar, so I'm kinda learning. I'm never going to perform or anything, but it's kinda fun to practise.

I thought I did it right,
I thought I'd win for sure.
But I still lost the race,
Had to give up the chase.
I guess I'll just practise some more.
-my little ditty

Poor Old Ned!
You're better off dead!
At least you'll get some peace of mind!
You're out on the track!
You're out on you're back!
Boy, they're gonna HANG YOU DRY!
-Chorus of song played by Handsome Young Strangers, basically screamed by us dancers.

And when they dance,
Their dresses spin round.
Travel so lightly,
They scarce touch the ground.
Smiles on their faces,
Could win any crowd.
It's the lasses who dance,
'Til the morning.
-A beautiful contemporary folk song covered by Jewelled Mat, which I loved.

one thousand one hundred and forty seven steps.

So..
HI! Umm. You know what's good? Bad days that end well. You know whats better? Good days that go bad, but get good again. Today was like that. I woke up okay, then went to Camelgirl's house, so things got better, then I had to leave to play basketball and we played SO badly. I'm still quite angry.
We were playing against a team of five, who had no subs, and we led for around 95% of the game. We were up by about 7 at half time, then it was equal at around 3/4 time. We drew ahead again, but in literally the last minute they caught up and beat us by two points (1 goal = 2 points).
I was so furious, especially since I'd been subbed of in the last 2 minutes and couldn't do anything.
So when we left I got my dad to drop me off at a local park which had a crappy ring so I could cool off for a bit. I then walked home (I counted 1147 steps from a random point to the front door), had a shower and read my blog comments, which cheered me up. So now I'm feeling pretty good. Had a meat pie for dinner, and going to have an apple thing for dessert :).

On to other things. Sabine Cara asked if I'm gay. I'm not gay, though I have been called that many times by different people, mostly because I'm very touchy-feely with my mates. I don't object to being called gay though, as I don't find anything particularly wrong with being homosexual. There are two gay guys who live down the end of my street who are two of the nicest people I know.

Um..I had something else to say.. Oh. I don't use pictures very much because I don't usually go looking for them, but I will try to include them more often:D.
I foolishly attempted to draw the above picture for my drawing class. Needless to say, my version is terrible. I'm looking forward to next term though, because I have an idea of what my major piece is going to be and I can't wait to do it.

Umm.. there was one more thing.. Oh yeah. To any future people checking out my blog, I realise the first 8 or so are..well pretty depressing. Sorry about that. I'd change or delete them, but I don't like messing with previous posts. So yeah, just wanna let you know I'm not always that bad.


And here's the Looking For Alaska that started me off on my John Green craze.