Given to a girl, written by a boy.

So..
*drums fingers on desk* A little over a week since my last post. Given my track record its not that bad, but it's felt like a while, particularly since I've had so much I wanted to talk about. Now, sadly, the moment is gone and I don't feel like saying anything in particular. I do need to do Lilah's "Dear You" tag, so lets run with that.
To be honest, I'm still not sure who I want to write to, if anyone. I've had a few ideas though, so I'm just going to do it and see how it goes. One moment while I find some appropriate music. Sum 41 and Three Days Grace are what I've ended up listening to lately, so on they go. Oh, and Ruthless by Something Corporate. Of course.
So.

Dear You,
I thought I saw you today. Walking out of Flinders Street Station and there was a girl with her back to me with the exact same stupid shade of hair you dyed it. I didn't freeze, I just watched carefully until she turned around and it wasn't you. Of course not. But it made me think, what would I have done if it was you? Walked up and said hi? Snuck past? I imagined catching your eye and putting a finger to my lips before sauntering off. That's what I do you see. I imagine situations, not just with you, but lots of people, where I manage to say the right things, do the right things. I'm always the height of cool in my head. Whenever I try anything like that in real life of course, it fails terribly. So I keep imagining, keep living in my head, picturing the perfect put down's to crush the people I hate, the perfect comments to brighten the lives of the people around me. Pretending Tyler's words could come out of my mouth.
But that won't ever happen. At least, not with you. Do you understand that? I used to promise you I'd be there for you forever, but I knew I was lying. Because now you're with him I can't be. And I can't confide in you either, despite what you said. I know that you mean the best, and you're only being a good friend but I can't handle it. I shouldn't even be thinking about you, in case it hurts again. And maybe one day I'll be able to look at you again without that pain, but funnily enough I don't want that either. I'm not sure, but maybe I just want the memory of what I once meant to a beautiful, sexy girl before she left me. So for that I thank you. And if you do need someone to confide in, I will be here. It might hurt but I'd do it anyway just to mean something to you again. But you have to figure that out yourself, I won't help you with that.

From (I won't say Love, not again)

Me.

Wow. That went better than I expected. Or worse. See, I do have things to get off my chest. Hmmm. Should I do another one? I had three hours sleep last night - did I already say that? Appears not.

I have to stay up a little longer for various reasons, so let's do another one. I could honestly do four or five, with all the stuff I'm not saying to people. Huh. I actually hadn't thought about that til now. I actually have a heap of stuff I could say to people. What does that imply? Often, or at least lately, I feel so distanced from people. But that's a discussion I won't go into right now. It's long, pretentious and depressing. Besides, just because I have things to say, doesn't mean I should say them. Loose lips sink ships and all that. Or is that the wrong turn of phrase. It is. Oh well. Ceebs backspacing.

Anyway, where was I?

Dear You,
I saw you recently. You walked straight past me and didn't even notice I was there. I didn't mind. You looked good, back straight, hair slightly windswept, determined look on face, bag over one shoulder, earphones in, woman power etcetera etcetera. I just wanted to mention that, I didn't have anything too important to say. Hope you're well. I assume you are. Hmm. perhaps I should have thought this out more before I started. FYI, typing in gloves is hard.

(platonic) Love,

Me (can I say Jokerman?)

Incidentally, platonic love is named after the Greek philosopher Plato. He talks about love in a platonic way (obviously) in the philosophical text Gorgias, and perhaps some of his other pieces. And typing is gloves is a bitch. I'm managing though. I'm wearing gloves at home now so I don't chew my fingernails to the root. My fingers look terrible. Hurrumph.

So I guess I better get ready for bed before I collapse. I suppose I have other things to say, but they can wait. I apologise for a lack of pictures, if you want I can start making a point of putting some in. Just let me know. I think I might chill on We Heart It for a bit while I wait for my work to finish up. Don't ask me how that makes sense, it just does. Wow I'm tired. Good night.

Oh shite. Almost forgot the most important part. I HAZ TEH NEW FOLLOWER! I apologise for caps, (god knows I hate caps lock normally) but its been a while. Welcome, welcome, welcome Rebecca. I hope we haven't scared you.

Now I really  need to go to bed. Nighty night.

This is the last true burning letter

So..
Right. Lilah's tag. I'm not avoiding homework. Shut up. Anyway. The tag. *copy-pastes* All you have to do is write a letter beginning with 'Dear You' that can't include any names, only pronouns. Hmm. I've been thinking about this for a while now and I still haven't figured out who to write it to. I thought of the title though, so...progress! So many people to write to. Argh. Stupid distracting Facebook. RAAAAAAARGH. I probably don't have time to finish now, but I don't want to stop and do it tomorrow. Wow. I actually feel like crying. Surely my day wasn't that bad. I spent about 20 minutes going through the blogs I follow. There aren't that many and it's sad to see that some have been deleted or haven't been updated in ages. I hope that everyone's okay :/. I guess if you don't have anything to post a blog is kinda pointless. I use this place as a place to vent nowadays. When I finish with it I'll be sad.

So tags. Tag. Tag. tag tag. tag tag tag atag tag tagtagtag.
Dear...who?
her or her or her or her or her or him or him or him or.. I don't know.
Fuck it I'm going to bed. Sorry Lilah, I'll do it properly soon.

"Let me tell you where I'm at. I want to have sex with a woman so I can take these overalls off."

So..
I said last night (actually this morning - just) that I would be doing the Cassie tag and in my opinion the best ones have pictures. I've done it five times before, the last one being way back in August. So here it is:

Abracadabra, Wow!
I like boys with long hair and girls with amazing eyes.
I like going out and doing stuff.
I like being able to have a normal conversation.

I like the way your skin felt against the back of my hand

I like sleepovers where we don't sleep.
I like doing things for New Year's eve.

I like how comfortable you seem around me.
I like loud music and distorted guitars.
I like seeing guys in love.

I like how shy you are about singing

I like finding a really good book to read.
I like it when people who can still look sexy without wearing tight or revealing clothes.
I love romantics
Today I got eight hours sleep for the second time in about two weeks.

In some ways, I love everything.
Its less, its less of a thing to like, its less distinct, its less particular
I like things that I like but I love everything
There’s more choice in like
Cos even the worst things have things you love in them
I don’t know what you mean about things I hate

I hate how jealous I can be at the drop of a hat. it tears me apart.

I hate how I can't keep my stupid mouth shut.
I hate how my stupid earring still refuses to heal.
I hate that when I'm down I focus on all the reasons you couldn't possibly love me back. 

 I hate how insecure I am sometimes.

I hate how blogger messes up the bold and italic settings so much.
I hate that I'm still in love with with my ex-girlfriend but in a way, I know I don't really hate it.

I hate how far away you live.

I hate this, wow. . .Sorry.

 

I found out what the best feeling in the world is, but I think I already knew the worst a long time ago.

666

So..
New post time! First up, I have a new follower! Robin has decided to join our merry band of...travellers..that doesn't really sound right. Ah well. WELCOME! Hope you enjoy my terribly fascinating posts.
I have a bunch of new Fight Club pictures from We Heart It. One of the best movies I've ever seen and one of the best books I've ever read. You should go and watch it. Right now. Maybe finish reading this post first.
I got tagged for the Cassie tag!! I have done this in aaages. Thanks m. :D
The task (in case you didn't know) is to fill in 12 likes, 1 love and 8 hates like Cassie in her therapy video. The bolded words are things you MUST include. I tag.. Smileyfreak, s.k.y. aaand Sir Miffington Quack Quack since I haven't heard from her for a while.


Abracadabra, Wow!
I like boys who like hugs and girls who I can talk to normally.
I like reading late into the night.
I like pretending my life is a story.
I like headbanging on the train, ignoring the uninitiated around me :D
I like birthday parties with good music, good food and good people.
I like that I'm so busy on my weekends recently.
I like trying to figure out what strangers are thinking about.
I like running just because I can.
I like watching movies I can relate to.
I like finding new music I absolutely love.
I like looking at my music collection and feeling proud.
I like listening to Pink Floyd while listening to the rain hammer on the roof.
I love that you dumped me, yet I'm the happy one and you're depressed. I don't need revenge, but it's ironic.
Today I failed a science test, made a new friend and made an amazing photograph for my Photography class.

In some ways, I love everything.
Its less, its less of a thing to like, its less distinct, its less particular
I like things that I like but I love everything
There’s more choice in like
Cos even the worst things have things you love in them
I don’t know what you mean about things I hate

I hate how easy it is for people to see right through me.
I hate my lack of any motivation or drive.
I hate stereotypes.
I hate that I always give too much away far too soon.
I hate that I should be doing my homework but instead I'm writing this.
I hate how stupid stupid stupid I am.
I hate how easily I fall for strangers, but in a way, I know I don't really hate it.
I hate how easily I can justify to myself every wrong thing I do.
I hate this, wow. . .Sorry.

I wish my will was good.

Last Friday I went to a Battle Of The Bands where a friend was performing. His band didn't win but I enjoyed hanging out. I got home at twelve. On Saturday I went and watched Richmond get pummeled by Carlton. I left early and went to a birthday party. It was very very awesome. Got home at 1. Pizza, dancing, metal, wacko metalheads, friends and fun. Definitely in the top 10 nights of my life. I have honestly never met a metalhead I didn't like. They're just really nice people. :D

Hmm. New music..
The entire Number Of The Beast album by Iron Maiden. Amazing. Fucking. Album. Excuse my French, but it's brilliant.
Your Decision by Alice in Chains.
The Light You Burned by Hilltop Hoods.
Amerika, Haifisch and Asche Zue Asche by Rammstein. So much fun to listen to.
Wish You Were Here and Money by Pink Floyd
Handlebars by Flobots. Amazing video and song, I highly recommend you check it out. Here's the video:

I figured out how to put videos in posts and cross out words. No thanks to you lot *grumble*
Now where was I. I forget. Here's some pictures.


I'll photocopy my Photography thing when I get to take it home. Nighty night dudes and dudettes.

100th post!

So..
This is my hundredth post. I'm sorry it's not very extravagant, "so sue me." It'll be long and rambling, so you might want to scan it for interesting bits before making a comment and leaving knowing that it has changed your life in ways so tiny and complex that its effect will echo throughout eternity. Because that's what life is really, a series of interconnected coincidences, chance meetings and parallel universes.
It's the second last day of the holidays. I'm not too sad, I had fun. Had a few sleepovers, played xbox, went to football games and saw movies. Specifically, three sleepovers, all at my place, Fallout 3 and Bioshock 2, Richmond verses West Coast and Richmond verses someone else. I went to keep my Richmond-loving friend company, so I didn't pay much attention to the actual games. The Karate Kid was fun, if melodramatic and Love Actually was..very good. I always get really quiet and thoughtful after seeing a movie or reading a book. Speaking of which, I just finished The Truth About Forever by Sarah Dessin. She's an amazing author really.
Uhh. I have a surprisingly small number of new songs. Just scan the list if you like, though of course I encourage you to listen to any or all that sound interesting. Just when you're supremely bored with nothing better to do. :D

Witches by Candlemass.
Blitzkreig by Deathstars.

Hall Of The Mountain King by Savatage.
The Wild And The Young by Quiet Riot.
Mr Crowley by Ozzy Osbourne.
The Beautiful People by Marylin Manson. (Awesome drums)
The Axeman by Omen. (Cool intro)

In The Black by Motorhead.
Betrayal by Lita Ford.
All of the above are from Brutal Legend by the way.
Kiss From A Rose by Seal. An oldie but a goodie.
Hard Rock Hallelujah by Lordi. Won the Eurovision Song Contest in...2006 I think.
Blind Guardian's cover of You're The Voice. I know I keep saying awesome but..ITS AWESOME!
Miss You by Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Say by John Mayer. Got bored of it quickly but I thought I'd put it in anyway.

So what else? Well, Erimentha tagged me for the Inspirational Blog award quite a while ago. Better late than never I guess. I thought I'd use it as an excuse to talk about things I've been wanting to talk about but never got the chance. Though now I have the chance, I don't know what to say. My five favourite things in my room?

My stereo, which has served me very well ever since I won it at the Melbourne Show when I was..probably about seven or eight. It has a radio, CD player and tape player. The only thing that is wrong with it is the volume goes weird if you turn it down too far. Not bad for a stereo thats almost nine years old.

My necklace. My girlfriend, let's call her E, made it for my birthday. I almost never take it off. Yes it's shaped like a razor. Yes I'm OK with that. And now if you ever see a really really cool guy walking down the street wearing a handmade necklace shaped like a razor you'll know someone stole it.
My laptop. It has an immense hard drive so I can keep everything I could ever want on it. I have a bunch of movies, videos and pictures.

My ideas book. Its where I write down story ideas, reminders, poetry, songs and lots of other random things. I bought it from Typo (great store) and I only ever write in it backwards.
(it says: So much lost, so little gained. Everything is backwards. Bring the whips and rope and chains. The Alphabet. abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz. The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog x 2)

My massive book collection. I want to have a library in my house when I'm older. It'd be amazing.

My CD collection. There's about 20, but it's a work in progress.

My super comfy, super warm double bed.

Now, some great news. Yesterday went into the city and got my learner's license. Awesome or what? Of course, I can;t drive without a parent in the car, but still, I'm on my way..somewhere.
I really have to go to bed, school in two days and all. I'm finishing a song and when it's done I'll put it up for you're viewing pleasure. Here's some pictures:

Get it?

I love the little side story with this kid. Very cute. He's a very good actor.
Alan Rickman (Severus Snape) was amazing in Love Actually, I was so sad about what happened.
Very true. Make your own destiny.
The man who said this wrote Fight Club which is one of the best movies of all time. Don't think you'd like it though...
Do it!

The stars lean down to kiss you, and I lie awake and miss you.

So..
Right now I'm following the Sweet blogger tag back through time to see who made it. Damn didn't work. One of the links was invalid. OK, so I've been given the Sweet Blogger award by the beautiful Camelgirl. I have to..

*give this award to 10 sweet and friendly bloggers,

*make a post about the award including the picture and mention the person who gave it to you,

*put the award on your blog,

and

*let your nominated 10 know you've awarded them by leaving a comment!

Let's see. I give this to: Smileyfreak, Sir Miffington Quack Quack, Catherine, Cheshire and Selfish, P.s. I am Me, Elfie, Smorginator aaand Athena.

So since I can't find out the real history of this award, let's make one up
The Sweet Blogger Award was made by the great blogger god Blogger God to entertain the masses. The tag spread throughout the blogosphere until everyone had one. Then the fighting started. Two factions emerged, the first believing that the tag was for fun and everyone should be able to get one, the others believing it should only be granted to those worthy of the Blogger God's blessing. Furthermore, the blogosphere shattered into pieces, as everyone had different ideas as to what was meant to be written about for the tag. Eventually, after a major insult war and three cyber deaths, Blogger God stepped in and quelled the riots, wiping the minds of all but a select few of their memories of the blog war. The Sweet Blogger Award is currently a memorial to those who died, created by those who retained their memories. After the war was over the Blogger God declared (s)He would never again interact with the public and wiped its blog.

That was fun. Vanilla Twilight by Owl City is an AWESOME song. If I was feeling like an asshole I'd say its music video was shit but its not. Eminem has a new album coming out called Recovery, the first single is Not Afraid - it's pretty good. Airplanes Part 2 featuring Eminem is even better than the first part and Hayley Williams sings an awesome chorus.

I haven't said I don't love you anymore. And I never said I still loved her.

Sending Postcards From A Plane Crash (WIsh You Were Here)

So..
Elfie made an interesting new tag and sent it along to moi. I quote "You must write a love letter to yourself and then tag whoever you feel like tagging." Oh dear. I'm a little confused about this but I'll do my best. Hopefully I don't sound like an egotist/narcissist.

Dear Me,
I love your fashion sense somehow, even if no one else does. I like your quirky personality, like any good person does, but sometimes you need to tone it down? Hope you don't mind the constructive criticism. Don't beat yourself up over basketball so much, you aren't bad. Keep your head up and keep trying to help others. Oh, and keep drawing. You're getting better, but you don't put enough effort into it. You could be really good.
Love from Jokerman.

I think that went well. I tag this post to Sabine, Erimentha and anyone else who think it would be fun. I tag my last post to Sabine, Smileyfreak and Elfie.
Enjoy your Sunday.

Joke me something awful just like kisses, on the necks of 'just friends"

So..
[There are 19 pictures in this post so watch out for your download limit. You have been warned.]
I have a tag! I completely forgot that Dandalily tagged me for Cassie's therapy video..tag..thing.
So here we go. I love doing this one.

I like boys with interesting hobbies and girls with beautiful smiles.

I like music that reminds me of happier times.

I like sketching in the middle of class - on the table, on my arms, in my books.

I like thinking about what I'm going to do when I leave school.

I like tolerant people.

I like my long-for-a-guy hair.

I like bone white, jet black, blood red and dark green.

I like rearranging words and letters.

I like happy endings in books.

I like those few seconds after I wake up from an awesome dream and I remember it all.

I like my new computer.
I like seeing movies with friends.
I love daydreaming

Today my basketball team won despite my shitty playing.

In some ways, I love everything.
Its less, its less of a thing to like, its less distinct, its less particular

I like things that I like but I love everything

There’s more choice in like

Cos even the worst things have things you love in them

I don’t know what you mean about things I hate

I hate my homework.

I hate it when I'm in a crowd of people, and yet I'm still all alone.

I hate it when my stupid download limit means I have to get off the computer.
I hate being powerless.I hate how much my mum and I fight now.I hate that I grew up.

I hate that almost everyone I know now is better than me in everything.

I hate how pathetic I am but in a way, I love how awesome I can be.
I hate most of my body.
I hate that I'm stuck here on a Saturday night, staring at the walls, when I want to be with you.

I hate this, wow. . .

Sorry.

Sorry about the picture overload. I went through a lot of we heart it yesterday, got a lot of stuff.
I read a book yesterday called The Astonishing Adventures of Fanboy and Goth Girl. I realised about a quarter of the way in that it was bound to have a unhappy ending, but I was desperate to finish. Kind of like "please just get it over with" at the same time as "noo i don't want to read it." In the end it wasn't that bad of an ending, though it wasn't exactly the one I wanted.
I saw Kick-Ass on Thursday with two friends of mine. Very. Awesome. Movie.

Westley never dies.

So..
I just finished reading The Princess Bride, a thoroughly enjoyable book for all ages. I loved the movie as a kid and now I want to see it again. I remember in about Grade 5 for a time I walked around saying "Hello. My name is something something, you killed my father, prepare to die" and then "Stop saying that!" over and over. I didn't remember Inigo Montoya's name, shame on me.
Tomorrow I leave for Canberra early in the morning, so I have to pack ASAP.
Camelgirl's given me a new tag that she's made herself. You have to 'introduce/describe yourself' and tag three people. Okay let's see how I go.

Hello my name is Jokerman. I'm not telling you my real name because then it's not very mysterious is it? Not that most of you don't know it anyway but let me have my fun. I can start learning to drive in two months, which makes me sad because it means I'm really not a kid anymore. I go to Melbourne High - you know the nerd school - even though I'm a massive slacker and procrastinator. I've loved reading for as long as I can remember. I wish I played an instrument and I love most kinds of music. I spend most of my pocket money on Slurpees and CD's - when I get pocket money. I play xbox and read manga to pass the time. I play basketball and though I'm the first or second tallest, I'm one of the worst. I love playing anyway. I started this blog because Camelgirl told me to, and now I love it.

Now I have to get packed. I tag this to Smorginator, Sabine aaaand Elfie.

Babe, I'll be a, flatliner for a, heartkiller.

So..
The lovely Sabine Cara has tagged me for her very own blogger tag. So here we go.
1 image that makes me cringe.
Very creepy.
Next, 2 images that I could stare at for 5 hours.
And..
Notice a baby theme yet? I found all these on weheartit and saved them to my computer, but I left the images open on a tab. Every so often I'd accidentally click the wrong tab and go "aaaaaawwwwwww" babies are so cute. The second is kinda too cute. I can't stop wanting to look at it.
Finally, 1 image that shows a situation I want to be in before I die.
I kinda had a very specific image I wanted to put, but this is close enough. :D
I tag this to Camelgirl because I love every one of her posts, and catherine because I'm sure her answers would be awesome.

I've seen many a face, from young and to old.

So..
I'm listening to Speak Of The Devil by Sum 41. One of my favourite songs by them.
The Cassie Tag!!!

I like boys who can still act like a child and girls who like the same music I do.

I like signing in to MSN at 8 am on the weekend and being the only one there.

I like going to sleep with a smile on my face.

I like reading stories with happy endings.

I like sleeping in.

I like finding a new book that I can't stop reading.

I like my unhealthy disrespect for authority.
I like having conversations about nothing.

I like daydreaming.

I like sketching and drawing in the middle of class.

I like listening to the rain on the roof, or walking through a light drizzle

I love spending ages on weheartit saving images i like to my computer

Today I'm going to win basketball and see a movie

In some ways, I love everything.

Its less, its less of a thing to like, its less distinct, its less particular.

I like things that I like but I love everything.

There’s more choice in like.

'Cause even the worst things have things you love in them.

I don’t know what you mean about things I hate.

I hate being told I can't, I'm not good enough.

I hate being reminded of my failings.

I hate how people always remember the embarrassing things I've done, and never the good ones.

I hate lying in bed, unable to daydream myself to sleep because I was reminded of the truth.

I hate having crap days at school, and then coming home and having to do homework.

I hate how I'm not enough for anyone but in a way I know I wouldn't change myself if I could.

I hate seeing old friendships die.

I hate seeing a guy and a girl walking down the street holding hands, because when I do, my heart breaks a little more.

I hate this, wow...

Sorry.