Saturday, January 7, 2012

Fucking Melanie Tozer.

So..
I always feel awkward about writing the F word down, or typing it. When I do, the letters seem to stand out more, jump from the screen and demand my eye. It's like its more real than the other words, like its actually there. So when I write it its like the words surrounding it can't match it, it doesn't fit. Like its too powerful a word to be written. But effing and f***ing usually aren't powerful enough, so there's no middle ground I can use.

It's been a while. Christmas, New Years. What was in my last post? Not much.

My Christmas was enjoyable enough. When you get past the age of about 15 (or at least when I did) there's no magic in Christmas anymore. It's just another day, with maybe a few extra relatives coming around for lunch. I didn't get any really good presents, but I got some good ones for other people I thought. It's a good feeling to know you've gotten someone a good present, something they'll actually use or enjoy. I realised you can probably get the same enjoyment from working, when you help make someone's life easier or happier.

I was in Queensland between Christmas and New Years Eve. It was nice, relaxing, a good change of pace.
New Years Eve at Sponge's was good enough. The few days after New Years were a bit of a blur, they all just kinda meld together as one big sleepover at his. A couple of years ago my New Years was out camping with my dad, counting down while we lay on the floor eating chocolate. I hated it so I'm determined to do something every year so I don't have to go through it again. Last years New Years was good, but....well I posted about it if you care that much. This year was just good enough.

So now its 2012. My last year of high school and the hardest. I'm faced with people from school saying that this year is too important to slack off and people from my old school who don't seem to think it matters that much.

I'm moving house in a few days into a rental with my dad, while my mum stays in the house. It's an amicable separation and I'm not that worried about it, so don't worry about me. I'm old enough to accept that my parents don't want to stay together.

Its a quarter to 2 right now and I got out of bed to write this. I know I shouldn't have, but I wouldn't have posted if I'd waited til morning. I have to be up by 8 to go get the key for the rental, but I'll be fine.

Christ I really shouldn't read my old posts. Some things are better left forgotten, at there are more tears than laughs on this blog. I'm sorry I haven't been on blogger lately, I've just been busy. I got Skyrim by the way, spend way too much time playing it. And a bunch of albums I ceebs listing.

I'm happy enough. The daylight is better than the night, it just seems to swallow me up and make my thoughts wander. There's a supposedly Greek legend that I'm sure I've put up on here before. It says that humans used to have two heads, four arms and four legs. However, humans became strong and arrogant and started to challenge the gods (or something) so the head god cut all the humans in half, forcing everyone to spend their lives searching for their missing half. It's a nice enough story, but a bit too convenient I think to actually be Greek or Egyptian or whatever it was.



I'm tired of talking, and as usual, I still have so much to say. This year is going to be challenging to say the least. And no, I don't have any New Years resolutions.

2 comments:

Camelgirl said...

I can't describe how much I like this post.

Child said...

This is nice.
I hope you enjoy Year 12 and going back to school.