Live not just survive.

So..
This is just a small update post, sorry I haven't in a while. I had an okay Christmas and New Years. I think I say this every year (I'm not going to check for once) but New Year's is never amazing for me and I think it's because I keep thinking something extraordinary is going to happen and it never does. I can't help but give in to the public hype, despite my own cynical attitude to the whole celebration. I spent it with friends so I guess it was a good one. New Year's day I headed to Queensland for a week and stayed with some of my Dad's friends. I got pretty bored at times there, but I filled my days for the most part. After I came back to Melbourne, I've just been trying to get a job (in the most roundabout way possible). I've gone to Sponge's a few times, saw Full Metal Jacket (good movie) and The Road to El Dorado (cause why not). Other than that I've just been hanging out at home thinking about all the games I could play (my poor Steam account has barely been touched) books I could be reading (I miss my school library) and movies/tv shows I could be watching (I miss Hime). Right now I'm writing this post with Wombat and Sponge sleeping over, which is nice I guess.

I've been staying up, having too many all-nighters. I hate doing it, because I feel like I wasted the whole of the next day sleeping. With that in mind, I'll probably go to bed soon. If I can find somewhere to sleep...
So now I'm just surfing the net, thinking about yellow roses and how I really need to read One The Road, some Vonnegut and Nietzsche. Consider this a reminder.

Well, Goodnight.

Take its broken waist in your hand.

So..
Gather round people
I'll tell you a story
A ten year long story
Of power and pride....

Not really. I have been neglecting CD recently, which you might have noticed (and let's face it, you haven't) means that I've been keeping busy and not dwelling on depressing things to write up here. But I have to write this one, or I'll be breaking a promise and we can't have that can we?

So yeah, been busy. More on that another time. But I'm kind of annoyed at the moment. School's out forever, and I somewhere in the back of my mind, I guess I always assumed that after high school you somehow magically grew up, that relationships became "mature" overnight somehow. But I haven't changed a bit, as usual. And I know that now I'll meet many new people, form new friendships as well as maintain old ones. But I don't want to meet new people or make new friends. And I can't be bothered working to maintain contact with the 15 or so people I care about.

I just want my conversations in the classroom and the library back, my old childish romanticism and my stressful school life back. Buuuut I can't. I never wanted to grow up, but I've said that a million times.

So uh, what else. Marriage is depressing (cf. Take This Waltz) and so is a lot of other things. I'm sick of feeling like its a crime to tell a girl she's beautiful and sick of feeling sad, lonely and cold. I'm sick of a lot of things. I guess nothing is wrong right now. But there's nothing in particular to look forward to either.

Get up, go do my course, convene with the extended family for Christmas. Organise doctors appointments. Go to Soundwave. Accept my first round offer and organise for uni. Go to uni. So on, so on. Nothing in my immediate future is exciting. I used to get really depressed over the pointlessness of my life, now I just try to accept it and find things to enjoy.

 So that's about it I think.

Your lips are like my breaths, you keep taking them away.

So..

Sometimes I just want someone to pay attention to me.

Hope you all have a good holiday.

Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep

So..

Hello my followers! Mein Gott I haven't posted in over three weeks! I've been busy. And it feels good. I hate when i sit around for days on end, it makes me feel...useless.

So what have I been up to? I went to a friend's house on the 19th (i think) and stayed for 6 days, coming home on Christmas Eve. We had two all-nighters (there is nothing quite like playing pool at three in the morning) and went to bed past 12 two of the other three nights. We did stuff on the internets and talked and played video games. The usual. Our second all nighter was my last night at his place and we were at highpoint the whole time. Bought my Christmas presents around 4 because I'm that amazing. Then I got a lift home and immediately went out again (still hadn't slept) to get my dad's present, then stayed up til past 12 anyway.

Christmas was okay, hope yours was better. We had a family dinner with my mum's relatives, so pretty dull but I survived. Boxing Day saw me off camping with my brother and dad. I don't enjoy camping too much, but I survived it. My friend I'd had a sleep over with (his name's Alex) came up too so it weren't too bad. Not much to do except play on my laptop and his iPhone. We're two boring guys what can I say?

My brother drove home the third day (29th i think) and me and Alex caught the bus back home on New Years Eve. I arrived home at 1115 and again left immediately to go bowling with some old friends. After the bowling (i came third of four) we went to one guys house and hung around before the three of us left left him there and went to the next house and stayed awhile. Then it was train to Wombats house so he could change and then we all met up and went to a New Year's Eve party hosted by the lovely Camelgirl and Cat. Very fun party, lots of loud music, not too many people, I had fun. Counted down to midnight then got a lift home with Wombat around 2. New Years Day (Holy cow yesterday) I got up at 8 (after less than five hours sleep) and went to E's house (Yes we're still friends, No we're not going to get back together as far as I know, Yes it's a terrible codename). We watched some episodes of Dexter, wandered around, and then stayed up til 3 30 watching The Amityville Horror. Fun movie.

Got home around 430 today and caught up on my internets (I'd barely gotten the chance to do some manga-reading with all this rushing around) then watched Big Bang, How I Met Your Mother and a recording of the Doctor Who Christmas special I missed. And now I have a cold. It's not surprising really, a string of late/all nighters, not eating very well right now and it was freezing last night. All in all, I'm feeling pretty darn pleased with myself. Going back to camp on Tuesday or Wednesday with my brother to help my dad pack it all up (did you notice that we left him there?) and then I'll still have three weeks of the holidays left over. Blimey. I'll have to start working on my holiday homework though, trying to get serious about school work this year (Year 11 woot!)

That's not all of it. I read the original Frankenstein because we're doing it for Lit this year and it was pretty bad. I tried reading some other ones but it's all pretty bad actually :P. I have been reading Raymond E. Feist's Midkemia books, as some of you know. Very good and about 3/4 of the way through. I'm also looking at reading some Richard Morgan books. Richard Morgan is a very good sci-fi writer, though they're very detailed and of a darker bent. Very hard to get into, but amazing. If you're interested, check out Altered Carbon by him, I borrowed it from school about 6 months ago and I'm mostly reading the sequels.

What else? Music. New songs are:

Deeper Water by Paul Kelly, I am going to learn it on guitar.

How To Make Gravy by Paul Kelly.

Black Dog by Led Zep.

Johnny I Hardly Knew Ya and I'm Shipping Up To Boston by the Dropkick Murphys. Bloody good fun to sing and the lyrics are pretty easy to remember.

Purity by Slipknot, it's live version particularly.

Prelude 12/21 by AFI.

Sunrise, Sunset by Bright Eyes.

Disappear by Motion City Soundtrack.

It's Not the End of the World, But I Can See It from Here by Lostprophets.

Ov Fire and the Void by Behemoth. Great guitar intro I reckon.

I'm not sure what to think of Teenage Crime by Adrian something. I like it though.

I've left out something else; what I got for Christmas! A cool bracelet thingy and a wallet with a chain from my mum (pics tomorrow), a check for 100 dollars, a cool shirt from my bro and a towel :D. I got my dad some golf balls, my mum two bracelets, my brother a rubber band ball and 'naughty' marker thingies from typo and my cousin a mug. I'm going to spent the money on CD's. Most of it anyway.

Written while camping:

 I dreamed last night that you were a princess and because I was a commoner your father (who looked like my Lit teacher) wouldn't let us be together. When I woke up I realised that while such medieval practices are no longer in place, in real life I made you the princess and myself the commoner and decided that we didn't work together because you're so amazing and I'm so dull.

The profoundness was kinda lost when you turned into an animation and I became part of a picture book, though now I think about it, that kinda fits in. Regardless, by the time I woke up a rabbit was teaching a dog and cat about the finer points of love, sex and marriage, including an amusing anecdote about the "Dewey's" a pair of lovestruck rabbits who both passed out after they had sex the first time.

Written on the way to bowling:

I realised today that some people actually don't know what it's like to be in love. Furthermore, most people my age don't know the feeling, It made me think that maybe I'm getting it wrong somehow.

Holy crud it's midnight. I'm just gonna dump these pictures here. They mean things to me. Goodnight. Here's hoping my cold will be gone in the morning. Also, I'm going to do a the Cassie tag tomorrow, I haven't in ages and I really want to. :D

Christmas thoughts

So..
Every year around Christmas I open the letter box, take out a Christmas card or two and imagine myself 30 years from now sitting alone at home without a single card because I never made the effort.

Every year at Christmas I think of how my grandfather died, sitting at the table on Christmas day with his entire family around him and I hope to die as well as he did.

Every year around Christmas I imagine kissing a beautiful girl at midnight on New Years Eve.

Every year at Christmas, as I sit down to the dinner table with my mum, dad, brother, grandmother and assorted cousins I wonder if I'll ever see it from where my dad does.

Every year at Christmas I eat until I'm full and stay up late.

Every year at Christmas I feel a little sad that another year has gone by.

Every year after Christmas I hardly bother making a new years resolution, because I've never thought it was that important to do.

8,7,6

So..
I didn't post on the weekend. So sue me :P.
I had a pretty good weekend. On Saturday we played basketball and lost miserably:(. I'm over it. After basketball I went to my grandma's house and had a nice dinner with delicious chicken. We watched a tape of Les Miserables which I quite liked then went home. I stayed up until about 1.30 playing Dragonica :P.
Yesterday morning I (somewhat understandably) slept in to 12 30. When I got up I had breakfast and went Christmas shopping. I now have two new shirts (because I really need more not), a new pair of earphones because someone didn't give them back and a new CD because one of my greatest skills is buying myself Christmas presents instead of other people.
Afterwards I came home for about an hour and a half before leaving to pick up my mum from the airport. (she's back from Sydney after a wedding). Then it was back home to empty my kitchen cupboards so the builders can come and them off the walls and put in new ones.
After that, the computer and bed at 11.
Today, nothing much, just sitting on the computer and listening ot my new CD! Its called Indestructible by Disturbed. 'Tis tres good. How do you put a line through words in a post?


She used to look good to me but now I find her,
Simply irresistible.

I'm back in the sunshine,
and don't it feel good.

I'm listening to:
Forgot About Dre (Ft. Eminem) by Dr. Dre (Rap)
Simply Irresistible by Robert Palmer (Rock/Pop)
We Share The Same Space by Dean Geyer (Light Rock)
I Want You by Savage Garden (Rock/Techno)
Sweet December by Short Stack (Rock)
Everything on Indestructible.

I dreamt you were almost convinced.

You're so lovely, are you lonely?

So..
another week and a bit since I last posted. Sorrrrryyyy. Since my last post a few things have happened. The end of school is the big one. Finished on Friday. We only had to turn up by 9, listen to some speeches and leave at 11. I didn't do too bad or good on my report, so that's OK. I saw Paranormal Activity which is quite scary (go see it!). I've started listening to; Tell Me Baby by The Red Hot Chili Peppers, Crashed The Wedding by Busted and Where The Streets Have No Name by U2. I also now like Talk Show Host by Radiohead - I don't think I mentioned it before. I've had two songs stuck in my head aswell, Tell That Mick He Just Made My List Of Things To Do Today by Fall Out Boy and 99 Problems by Jay-Z.
Yes it is almost Christmas I didn't forget. I've done part of my shopping and I know what I'm getting everyone else (though I honestly can't be bothered writing a whole book..meh). I'm going to download Freenet soon and I have downloaded and played a game called Dragonica. Umm.. I saw 2 plays, one was a not-very-good Christmas version of The Wizard Of Oz perform by a bunch of children under 9. The other was a rather good version of The Legend Of Sleepy Hollow performed by kids our age. Sadly, the female lead wasn't as pretty as one of the secondary characters, but that was the only downer. :p
More later. Toodles.