Saturday, August 28, 2010

This is what being a teenager is like? You can have it

Its...almost 12. My parents are at a 70th birthday party a dn won't be home until atleast lunchtime tomorrow. So I'm home alone. and basically, it sucks. Eating shit food, watching shit videos and playing shit videogames. I feel like I'm wasting my life every day but I can't be bothered changing. So I guess I'm a hypocrite. Or an asshole. Or at least not allowed to complain. But if I'm not allowed to say whatever the hell I want on my blog then something has gone dreadfully wrong.
But where was I? parents aren't home, wasted life yadda yadda... I watched a lot of Red vs Blue today. It's very awesome. And it has a plot twist that could give definitely Fight Club a run for its money. I think so anyway.

New music is Saints Of Los Angeles by Motley Crue, Magic Fountain by Art vs Science and Let The Bass Kick In Miami Bitch. I don't really care who made it.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

When days feel like minutes and minutes feel like hours

We are born with the belief that our fathers are gods, invincible, indestructible, immortal. Then we grow and realise that he is just a mortal man. And a little magic leaves the world.
I'm trying to write meaningful things, but I can't say it right. The ideas are delicate, if they aren't expressed properly, they lose meaning.

From my ideas book:
I want to live to live to see the day my son walks up to me and plays me a song I hadn't heard in 20 years. I want to be able to look at him and say "I remember when that came out." And I want to be able to tell him a story of forgotten summers, parties, beaches and girls.

Its like you go on this long journey and just end up back where you started, a little wiser, world-weary and alone again

I saw a man wearing a silver replica of the One Ring today! :D 29/7

You know you've cleaned your teeth properly when you draw blood.

Not a lover, not a fighter, not a thinker, not a doer, just a dreamer.

Hide your eyes behind your hair,
Take your sister to the fair,
She's young, she doesn't need to know,
The places her brother likes to go.

That last one was inspired by Catcher in the Rye believe it or not. Lost innocence and all that.
Dinner time. More later?

Thursday, August 19, 2010


New post time! First up, I have a new follower! Robin has decided to join our merry band of...travellers..that doesn't really sound right. Ah well. WELCOME! Hope you enjoy my terribly fascinating posts.
I have a bunch of new Fight Club pictures from We Heart It. One of the best movies I've ever seen and one of the best books I've ever read. You should go and watch it. Right now. Maybe finish reading this post first.
I got tagged for the Cassie tag!! I have done this in aaages. Thanks m. :D
The task (in case you didn't know) is to fill in 12 likes, 1 love and 8 hates like Cassie in her therapy video. The bolded words are things you MUST include. I tag.. Smileyfreak, s.k.y. aaand Sir Miffington Quack Quack since I haven't heard from her for a while.

Abracadabra, Wow!
I like boys who like hugs and girls who I can talk to normally.
I like reading late into the night.
I like pretending my life is a story.
I like headbanging on the train, ignoring the uninitiated around me :D
I like birthday parties with good music, good food and good people.
I like that I'm so busy on my weekends recently.
I like trying to figure out what strangers are thinking about.
I like running just because I can.
I like watching movies I can relate to.
I like finding new music I absolutely love.
I like looking at my music collection and feeling proud.
I like listening to Pink Floyd while listening to the rain hammer on the roof.
I love that you dumped me, yet I'm the happy one and you're depressed. I don't need revenge, but it's ironic.
Today I failed a science test, made a new friend and made an amazing photograph for my Photography class.

In some ways, I love everything.
Its less, its less of a thing to like, its less distinct, its less particular
I like things that I like but I love everything
There’s more choice in like
Cos even the worst things have things you love in them
I don’t know what you mean about things I hate

I hate how easy it is for people to see right through me.
I hate my lack of any motivation or drive.
I hate stereotypes.
I hate that I always give too much away far too soon.
I hate that I should be doing my homework but instead I'm writing this.
I hate how stupid stupid stupid I am.
I hate how easily I fall for strangers, but in a way, I know I don't really hate it.
I hate how easily I can justify to myself every wrong thing I do.
I hate this, wow. . .Sorry.

I wish my will was good.

Last Friday I went to a Battle Of The Bands where a friend was performing. His band didn't win but I enjoyed hanging out. I got home at twelve. On Saturday I went and watched Richmond get pummeled by Carlton. I left early and went to a birthday party. It was very very awesome. Got home at 1. Pizza, dancing, metal, wacko metalheads, friends and fun. Definitely in the top 10 nights of my life. I have honestly never met a metalhead I didn't like. They're just really nice people. :D

Hmm. New music..
The entire Number Of The Beast album by Iron Maiden. Amazing. Fucking. Album. Excuse my French, but it's brilliant.
Your Decision by Alice in Chains.
The Light You Burned by Hilltop Hoods.
Amerika, Haifisch and Asche Zue Asche by Rammstein. So much fun to listen to.
Wish You Were Here and Money by Pink Floyd
Handlebars by Flobots. Amazing video and song, I highly recommend you check it out. Here's the video:

I figured out how to put videos in posts and cross out words. No thanks to you lot *grumble*
Now where was I. I forget. Here's some pictures.

I'll photocopy my Photography thing when I get to take it home. Nighty night dudes and dudettes.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Something deep and meaningful

There's no easy way to say this. E broke up with me. Don't feel sad, I'm not heartbroken. It was pretty predictable, in the end it was just a case of seeing how long it would take. Honestly, I'm fine about it. Calm. Peaceful. Serene. Most of the time. It kinda hit me hard when I put my iTunes on shuffle and The Mess I Made by Parachute came on. It's a very sad song and I suddenly felt very teary. It was the opening lines that did it. But that was the exception and I've mostly been able to look on the bright side.

I've been reading The Elegance Of The Hedgehog after Erimentha recommended it. It's an incredible book. It's pretty hard to understand at times because the ideas in it are so complex, but on the whole I'm enjoying it.

I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed right now. I have a couple of pieces of homework that are due soon or overdue, which is bad. I'm thinking I might stay up late and finish something off, though I might be too tired/slack-assed. I have to organise my work my work experience, which is frustrating, as well as my community service. In the good news, I get to do Nirvana for a history project. So yeah, coolest history assignment ever I reckon. I also have my busiest fortnight ever this weekend and next. A friend's band is playing tomorrow night, then I'm going to the football and a birthday party on Saturday and going to see a movie on Sunday. The following weekend I'm sleeping over at a friends on Friday night then I have basketball and a school function on Saturday. Thank God I have a bye at basketball this weekend. I'm having trouble keeping track of it all. I also have to get four different birthday presents. Four!

It's all good though.

I'm starting to feel a little restricted with what I can say on Blogger right now. So many of my followers are personal friends and it makes it harder to express myself sometimes. A long time ago I didn't care what anyone thought of me. I was happy doing whatever it was I wanted to do and I never needed anyone else. Then I hit high school and that got harder and harder. Sometimes I can recapture my old fully-independent glory, but it's fleeting. I hate to say anything boring and cliched, but I guess it's part of growing up.

Random fact: Kurt Cobain wanted Nirvana's third album In Utero to be called I Hate Myself And I Want To Die, as this was he had begun saying whenever anyone asked him how he was. I think it's brilliant. When I found out though, I thought about saying it myself in ironic homage, but I realised I would be taken too seriously. It seems everyone is worried about teenage depression these days and I can see their point, but sometimes the over-protection is suffocating. I figure, if we managed to survive for over three thousand years without parents psychoanalysing their children, why start now? I guess teenage suicide is a genuine problem, but it just so annoying.

New music:
Lithium, Come As You Are and Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana
Dracula From Houston and Whatever (I Had A Dream) by Butthole Surfers
Oh! Hark by Lisa Mitchell
Giving Up The Gun by Vampire Weekend
Struck Down by Clutch
The entire By The Way album by The Red Hot Chili Peppers
Oh You Pretty Things! by David Bowie
Magic by B.O.B.
Plans by Birds Of Tokyo (amazing song)
See Emily Play by Pink Floyd
If I Had You by Adam Lambert (He's gay! WOOoo!)
Dance The Way I Feel by Ou Est Le Swimming Pool (Where Is The Swimming Pool in French if you didn't know)
Flowers On The Wall by The Statler Brothers
Losing My Religion by R.E.M.
Parlez Vous Francais by Art Vs Science
If You Leave by OMD
Cooler Than Me by Mike Posner
Take It Off by Kesha
Half Of My Heart by John Mayer
Dancing In The Storm by Boom Crash Opera
For The First Time by The Script
Asylum by Disturbed
High Hopes by Pink Floyd

LOOK AT THAT BABY! Weirdest baby I have ever seen.
I don't remember why, but I was looking up Shakespeare on We Heart It.

Goodnight !

Monday, August 9, 2010



I just spent the whole day trying to stay depressed and upset. But I couldn't. My friends are too awesome. Of course, it didn't hurt that my maths test was cancelled.

And I remembered that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, because I'm me, not what they expect me to be.
So laugh!

Sunday, August 8, 2010

It is not the end of the world

It's not the end of the world its not the end of the world its not the end of the world itsnnot the end of the wolrd its not the end of the world it no the end of the world its no the tend of the world its not the end of the world its not the end of the world its no the end of the wolrd its no the end ofthw wolrd

I don't know who will inherit the earth, but don't let it be me.

Homework! The bane of my life. On Thursday night I had a photography assignment due on Friday and a maths test. I didn't finish the photography and I didn't revise for the test. On Friday, the test was cancelled and the teacher didn't ask for my assignment. which meant I had yesterday and today to do them. Plenty of time right? Right. It was plenty of time. But time has a funny way of passing and now I am no further than I was on Thursday and I also have a IT assignment due tomorrow as well. I'm worried and upset about all that, just not enough to actually do any of it apparently.

It's a good thing I wasn't born in America. I don't know what would happen with a gun in the house.
I'm such a jealous person. I can't help it and I wish i didn't care but I do. I mostly I'm jealous of various friends with various talents and..let's be honest, every guy and girl who gets to see E five times a week when I see her once a month. I feel so useless.

I found this poster on the wall in what passes for the drama room at my school. Its bloody clever if you ask me.
As for the picture below, I was putting something in the cupboard, closed it and skinned two of my fingers. The one on the left (my pinky) is literally bleeding through the band aid.

Monday, August 2, 2010

The endless sky


(If I could only see the way, she loves me. Maybe I could understand.)

I took this photo on my crappy phone a couple of months ago. The 26th of February to be exact. It turned out amazing though. It probably deserves a beautiful quote or something on top of it, but I think the possibility of what could be there is far greater than anything I could come up with. So that's what it is, the sky as a symbol of endless, infinite possibility. The power lines probably have something to do with technology slowly taking away our possibilities. Or something. I work for my Art marks :D.

A warm welcome to my newest follower, m. We hope you enjoy what you find.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

At sunrise we will dance the hempen jig. So raise up your pint of rum and take another swig.

I'm sixteen. I feel so old. Over a third of the guys in my school can play an instrument so well they might as well be professionals. Everyone I see seems to have fulfilling ways to spend their time. They enjoy their hobbies, get a true sense of achievement from their little triumphs. I have no such thing. I feel old, as if I've spent my life watching everyone else go by, being happy, while I wasted my time dreaming of what could be. And now it's too late.
We see all these shows and movies and read these books that inspire us to truly live our lives. But it's harder than it sounds. I'm trapped by walls I can't see, as well as the ones I built around myself.

To someone, or maybe the world:

To E:

I don't understand you yet. But I'm getting there.

To everyone who cares about me:

I'll be fine.

To Raftboy, Trenchfoot, the choir, Teddy, everyone I love and everyone who has ever loved me and everyone else who deserves it:
To Wombat:

To a jewel:

One day all that will be left is a faded memory. So let's make it a good one.