Thursday, August 12, 2010

Something deep and meaningful

There's no easy way to say this. E broke up with me. Don't feel sad, I'm not heartbroken. It was pretty predictable, in the end it was just a case of seeing how long it would take. Honestly, I'm fine about it. Calm. Peaceful. Serene. Most of the time. It kinda hit me hard when I put my iTunes on shuffle and The Mess I Made by Parachute came on. It's a very sad song and I suddenly felt very teary. It was the opening lines that did it. But that was the exception and I've mostly been able to look on the bright side.

I've been reading The Elegance Of The Hedgehog after Erimentha recommended it. It's an incredible book. It's pretty hard to understand at times because the ideas in it are so complex, but on the whole I'm enjoying it.

I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed right now. I have a couple of pieces of homework that are due soon or overdue, which is bad. I'm thinking I might stay up late and finish something off, though I might be too tired/slack-assed. I have to organise my work my work experience, which is frustrating, as well as my community service. In the good news, I get to do Nirvana for a history project. So yeah, coolest history assignment ever I reckon. I also have my busiest fortnight ever this weekend and next. A friend's band is playing tomorrow night, then I'm going to the football and a birthday party on Saturday and going to see a movie on Sunday. The following weekend I'm sleeping over at a friends on Friday night then I have basketball and a school function on Saturday. Thank God I have a bye at basketball this weekend. I'm having trouble keeping track of it all. I also have to get four different birthday presents. Four!

It's all good though.

I'm starting to feel a little restricted with what I can say on Blogger right now. So many of my followers are personal friends and it makes it harder to express myself sometimes. A long time ago I didn't care what anyone thought of me. I was happy doing whatever it was I wanted to do and I never needed anyone else. Then I hit high school and that got harder and harder. Sometimes I can recapture my old fully-independent glory, but it's fleeting. I hate to say anything boring and cliched, but I guess it's part of growing up.

Random fact: Kurt Cobain wanted Nirvana's third album In Utero to be called I Hate Myself And I Want To Die, as this was he had begun saying whenever anyone asked him how he was. I think it's brilliant. When I found out though, I thought about saying it myself in ironic homage, but I realised I would be taken too seriously. It seems everyone is worried about teenage depression these days and I can see their point, but sometimes the over-protection is suffocating. I figure, if we managed to survive for over three thousand years without parents psychoanalysing their children, why start now? I guess teenage suicide is a genuine problem, but it just so annoying.

New music:
Lithium, Come As You Are and Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana
Dracula From Houston and Whatever (I Had A Dream) by Butthole Surfers
Oh! Hark by Lisa Mitchell
Giving Up The Gun by Vampire Weekend
Struck Down by Clutch
The entire By The Way album by The Red Hot Chili Peppers
Oh You Pretty Things! by David Bowie
Magic by B.O.B.
Plans by Birds Of Tokyo (amazing song)
See Emily Play by Pink Floyd
If I Had You by Adam Lambert (He's gay! WOOoo!)
Dance The Way I Feel by Ou Est Le Swimming Pool (Where Is The Swimming Pool in French if you didn't know)
Flowers On The Wall by The Statler Brothers
Losing My Religion by R.E.M.
Parlez Vous Francais by Art Vs Science
If You Leave by OMD
Cooler Than Me by Mike Posner
Take It Off by Kesha
Half Of My Heart by John Mayer
Dancing In The Storm by Boom Crash Opera
For The First Time by The Script
Asylum by Disturbed
High Hopes by Pink Floyd

LOOK AT THAT BABY! Weirdest baby I have ever seen.
I don't remember why, but I was looking up Shakespeare on We Heart It.

Goodnight !


smorginator said...

hey, sorry to hear about you and E. i've had break ups like that and thought "hmmm i'm fine" but then just majorly broke down at one point or another. i often feel uber behind with uni hw and stuff, and then i feel so behind i just can't be bothered catching up until i am in an "uber organised" mood. i hope you continue to be okay with you and E breaking up. I've had a shitty night and am kinda drunk so i hope all of this makes sense. I love your blog, I really do. Love Morgan xx

Robin said...

i really like this post, besides the break up part.
but i love the by the way album, its amazing.
youre blog is lovely. :)

m said...

boo, breaking up totally sucks.
and you think you're fine, but then you hear some stupid song, and it's like ooh, crap, i'm not as fine as i thought i was.
the picture of the baby absolutely made my day. so did the picture of shakespeare. what a hottie.
you have amazing taste in music. i'd never heard of parachute before, but i looked them up and they're pretty cool :)
your blog is reeally quite lovely.

Opomon said...

I'm really sorry to hear that. I really like your blog. It's so personal. It's about the kinds of things that most people want to say but won;t for fear of other people finding out it was them who said them. Keep on writing and don't worry about what other people think. It's a big help to us all. And since you're feeling down listen to the album: Manners, by Passion Pit. It'll make anyone happy! Especially the song Little Secrets. God speed my friend.