I'm trying so desperately to hold on to how I felt yesterday. I was in this good place and everything was okay and nothing hurt. And today was a good day but I'm tired and alone and I just don't care for
I don't want to go back to how I was. I don't want to go to sleep.
I fucking hate being alone. But some things have to end.
I fucking hate being alone.
Great. Now I'm fucking depressed again. And I was feeling so fucking good. Today I woke up okay, went to a birthday picnic with some guys from school and ate lots of crap food and enjoyed myself mostly. I've had better picnics. Or maybe I'm just telling myself I didn't like it. Then, feeling tired and sick, I went to my Mum's birthday dinner, ate nothing because I felt sick and tired then came home and got more and more pissed off. I don't know. I should probably go to bed. Don't they say never go to bed angry?
I'd like to say nothing can cheer me up right now but I'm not going to cause it sounds emo and depressing. This is so bullshit.
I'll just leave this post all mopey and depressing and you can just ignore it. Please do. I'm not always like this.
I'm such a freaking dumbass.