Sunday, April 17, 2011


I'm trying so desperately to hold on to how I felt yesterday. I was in this good place and everything was okay and nothing hurt. And today was a good day but I'm tired and alone and I just don't care for you my thoughts.

I don't want to go back to how I was. I don't want to go to sleep.  

I fucking hate being alone. But some things have to end.
I fucking hate being alone.
This sucks.

Great. Now I'm fucking depressed again. And I was feeling so fucking good. Today I woke up okay, went to a birthday picnic with some guys from school and ate lots of crap food and enjoyed myself mostly. I've had better picnics. Or maybe I'm just telling myself I didn't like it. Then, feeling tired and sick, I went to my Mum's birthday dinner, ate nothing because I felt sick and tired then came home and got more and more pissed off. I don't know. I should probably go to bed. Don't they say never go to bed angry?

I'd like to say nothing can cheer me up right now but I'm not going to cause it sounds emo and depressing. This is so bullshit.

I'll just leave this post all mopey and depressing and you can just ignore it. Please do. I'm not always like this.

 I'm such a freaking dumbass.


Lilah said...

but that sucks, this happens to me sometimes
i hate how out-of-control it makes you feel
like your moods control you
but (even when a part of you wants to stay feeling like this) it always goes away.
which is almost more annoying, if you know what i mean.

Erimentha said...

haha jokerman, this is such typical me. you always sum up what i'm feeling at the moment! i hope things get better for you. isn't it weird when you're fine for days and then suddenly all the goodness comes crashing down and you feel shit again. don't be angry at yourself for being angsty, just let how you feel run its course. well, thats what i try to do anyway...

take care, xxx eri