Friday, October 1, 2010

Eventually, everything dies.

I started a post a few days ago, but had to stop. This is how far I got:

Autumn wants everyone to like her. Her hair falls softly on her shoulders and is the colour of fire. Most boys fall for her, but a particular kind just ignore her, and no matter how she tries they don't care. She moves like a light breeze and wears red, yellow and brown. She has a big personality, but is not as extreme as her cousins.

Winter is cold. Few like her, but she doesn't change for others. She wears black, white and light blue. Winter is lonely and sad, but can't reach out to others well. She likes to-

I should finish it, but the spark I had when I started is gone. I was going to write one for Autumn Winter and Spring, but I couldn't make it sound good.

So today is the last day of the holidays. I don't really care too much. It's all the same to me.
I haven't been so well. But the sleepover was awesome, even if we didn't actually sleep. Lots of fun. I finally did some homework today, then went out to Wombat's place and got depressed :S

So I'm all good and need sleep like Beiber needs a lobotomy. Sorry I'm not very good at similes.
What to say? I changed my message tone, which is cool.

I feel kinda restricted in what I can put down here, suffice to say I feel...unloved. Yeah that's a good way of putting it. I tried to be [Peter Pan} and never grow up and now I'm the kid in the corner refusing to believe his world is changing without him.

I wrote something on a piece of paper once and I found it again recently. Tabletops and rifle shots. I'll let you figure that one out. I have no idea. I know exactly what I want, and it's not that complicated. Its just that I can't have it. Plain and simple.

Sometimes I feel detached from my own life. Looking from the outside in, watching myself live my life. Do you ever think in third-person? He is hanging the washing, She is going to bed? I don't know if I do it because I'm bored or because I'm not really all there.
Fireflies is still an awesome song, and it brings back memories as well.
How amazing is that?
The point is what you do before then I guess. Right now I'm not doing much.
You know it. I'm suddenly happy and I know exactly why. I'm so easily manipulated. WHEEEEEEEEE.
Oh right, nah it's not what you think. Sleepy time for Jokerman now. Talk about a massive post.

I mean, its ridiculous. Horribly depressed all day, and now I'm as happy as fucking Larry. Such a loser. :D

Love you all. Thanks for listening.


Camelgirl said...

Larry is a lucky man.
Also, oh my god that seasons metaphor thing, I think I want to eat it. That or... fall in love. Also the sleepover was great.
'and now I'm the kid in the corner refusing to believe his world is changing without him.'
... so good.

Erimentha said...

I love all your posts Jokerman. I dunno why. Your writing is really good and you seem like a great person. I'm sorry she broke your heart. The picture about the old lady made me smile. I think I'll go for 50 years before he knows I love him.

x Eri

Smileyfreak said...

I like your Bieber simile :) Very nice

Dandalily said...

Im gonna ask you politely to stop using all the pictures i want to use or i will come round your house in the middle of the night with a bat and probably just sit on your roof acutally. But i'd make hooting noises like an owl. I think you should carry out the seasons things i think Autumm and Winter already sound lovely. The bit about the scars made me sigh, in a good way not like a *sigh* but a siggggh.