Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Why do I know so many beautiful people? It's so not fair

I've been busy. I think. Today's the last day of the term, which is pretty sweet (no sir I ain't doing it), but I'm a little worried about next term. Lots to do an' all. So unfortunately I don't have long to type something here. (yes I got distracted by We Heart It. It has a new lay out. What am I, a robot?)

So I thought about beautiful people, and normal people and problems and girls and beauty again. I'm scared I misunderstand things. Or that I will. I have to make sure I don't lose my head. This is why I don't drink (must everything come back to that?). I figured out, or realised, or re-realised because I'm pretty sure I knew already, that in the end I have to solve my own problems and no one can solve them for me and I don't know if anyone can really help with them either. This is going to be a long week.
Do I know myself better when I hate myself and think I'm worthless or when I'm so happy I feel on top of the world and that everyone loves me? I don't know. One thing I do know (oo certainty) is that no one knows me like I know me, and I don't know me that well either (what the fuck is that pretentious shit?). Let's be honest. I think I'm a pretty cool guy and even though I tell myself to get a grip I don't ever really (just like every other time). *resists urge to apologise again*. Ow - my eye hurts... I don't know why. This whole day I've had a weird, really annoying tic in my right eye. No idea why. What was I going to say?
My fingers hurt where I've bitten my nails to far and my head hurts from staring at this screen too long. I've totally forgotten what I was going to- no wait I remember.
*gets out phone and reads from screen*
This small house feels big and empty when my father and I sleep in seperate double beds with only our blankets to keep us warm on these cold nights.

Hooray for run on sentences. Never mind that the nights are getting warmer and the cat wanders in and out every night to sleep on out beds. That's not poetic. Or maybe it is... Hmmm.

Anyway, I think its time this little bear went to sleep in his 'cold' bed.

Nighty night e'ery b'dy.

No comments: