What do I want?

So..
I want... to tango in the street.
I want... to kiss in the rain.
I want... to watch my blood flow across the canteen floor.
I want... to whisper that I'm cursed by the Black Pearl.
I want... to sleep for twelve hours and not feel like I wasted something.
I want... that moment of pure happiness back. I don't know where I left it.
I want... hit someone. Sometimes.
I want... this blog to mean something.
I want... to not be me.
I want... to stop time and just sit and read in a park alone in a frozen crowd.
I want... -ed you.
I want... this ache to go away.
I want... more scars.
I want... to burn my books and bed.
I want... to run and run and run and never ever face what I'm running from.
I want... to actually be interesting, rather pretending.
I want... to watch the world burn.
I want... to be alone forever. (Sometimes)
I want... my three wishes.
I want... to be infamous.
I want... your pity to stop.
I want... D.I.D.
I want... happiness.
I want... to know what blindness feels like.
I want... to snap.
I want... someone to get my jokes.
I want... to fly.
I want... to learn meditation.


The pathetic irony of my life is that I want so much, but don't want to work for any of it. Maybe I'd be best off wanting some motivation, some drive. But I can't be bothered. It'd be funny, if it wasn't just boring.

Woody Harrelson as Haymitch. Gonna be awesome.

So..

I want to be in love again. I want to believe that an ordinary girl could make the world shine like the sun and make me happy by just existing. Instead of this grey world I trudge through everyday indifferent and lonely. Shit.

I'm over you.
Congratulations!
And thank you for all of the pain
'Cause it made it be so much more fun!


There's nothing to say now,
The feelings are already dead.
And I don't believe there's a way now,
All that is said has been said.


I'm waiting for another day,
Another way
I don't believe that you 
Can make all the pain go away!




I bought Sum 41's latest album Screaming Bloody Murder. Did I mention that? I also bought Slipknot's All Hope is Gone and Skrillex's Bangarang. An eclectic collection no doubt.

Going to see The Hunger Games next week. Should be fun.
Got homework to do, school sucks etc etc.
Have a nice day.

Why we can't have nice things anymore indeed.

So..
Have you ever been confronted with a situation you have no idea how to react to emotionally, so you kinda just wait to see were it goes and hope that at the end you're happy? That happened to me about a week ago. Felt weird.

I need to sleep. When I don't get enough sleep my emotions go haywire and everything sets me off. It's never fun. But I want to stay awake. Dammit I'm going to go to sleep. Right. Now.

Impressions of Soundwave

Excitement. Nervousness. Tension. Tired on the train. Excited. Massive crowds. Under 18s entrance, wish I could keep my ticket. Gotta find the stage. It's hot. I need sunscreen. Steel Panther! That was fun. I'm getting burnt. Lostprophets. This is dull. Oh look sunscreen. Where's the next act? Not here. Not here. Here we are! Urgh they suck. Bring out Turisas already. Waiting. YEAH! They look awesome. I don't know this song. What an epic violinist. Yeah! rara RASPUTIN! HolmGARD! and beyond! That was awesome. What should we do now? ooh merchandise! No Slipknot tees? damn. Is my face red? That sucks. Lets sit down. Bored. Man I'm tired. Hey look at that cute girl. Do de do, I'm not staring. Tired. Music? okay. Why am I so tired? Snore. Waiting. Waiting. Let's go check out the other merch stall. Yay slipknot! I want a large Slipknot tee please. What size? ...Large... Here you go. Yay! But I don't want to wear two shirts. Lets sit in the stands. Two more hours to Slipknot. Oh man Limp Bizkit suck live. Snore. Half an hour more of Limp Bizkit? oh man. Bored. Switched shirts. Ok let's go down. How do I cross this barrier to the mosh? Nope wrong way. They're not letting people in this way either. Here we go. I hope they don't stop me going in. Here we are. Now to wait for an hour for Manson to finish. Do de do. Damn I don't have phone reception. Here's some. Waiting. Oh cool, a Manson song I know. Wow, he can not  sing that live. Man he's ugly. Do de do. Slipknot slipknot! Come on come out already. Which song is that the intro to? Come ooon come oon. Yes! Fuck yes! Wow I can get quite close to the stage. Man my ears hurt. Circle pit circle pit! Run away! OK I am not going in one of them. AAH how did I get in here?! Hmm that wasn't so bad. I love this song! I am so out of breath. Surprising number of chicks in the mosh.  Man this song is epic. AHH circle pit again! Push! I'm covered in other men's sweat. ewww. Why am I always stuck in the middle of the girls. Its weird. Oh my god oh my god oh my god. SPIT IT OUT! Yes! Are we gonna do it or not? Damn looks like not. Oh wait. Yes Yes Yes YES YES! CRAZY TEST! Wait a second. HOLY SHIT Sid is right behind me. This is amazing. OK wait for it. Waaaaiiit for iiiit. JUMP THE FUCK UP! dammit I went too early. Oh well. Jump! jump! Oh cool crowd surfers. Dammit I don't know this one. Do de do. Or this one. Sing the chorus anyway. Man that was good. My legs are sore. What time is it. Where's Angels & Airwaves. Here we are. Oh man I'm tired. Hurry up and finish. I need a drink. Pepsi, no Solo. Waiting. Waiting. I'm gonna sit over here. Waiting. OK I'm gonna go here now. Do want to go on my shoulders? OK. What a cool boyfriend. Do de do. Down you go. Bored. bored. My ears are hurting. I'm gonna go lie down. Ah I could sleep here. Tiiired. OK they're done. Can we go home now? I'm so tired. Let's go home.

Next morning: WHY DOES EVERYTHING EXCEPT MY LEGS HURT?