Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Dependence and Relationships.

And now for something completely different


  1. not being influenced or controlled by others in matters of opinion,conduct, etc.; being able to think or act for oneself
  2. not being subject to another's authority or jurisdiction;autonomous; free
  3. being uninfluenced by the thought or action of others
  4. not dependent; not depending or contingent upon something else for existence, operation, etc.
  5. not being reliant on another or others for aid or support.

Financial Independence
  1. the state of having sufficient personal wealth to live indefinitely without having to work actively for basic necessities.
  2. the ability to manage your money in such away that you have sufficient funds to live your chosen lifestyle without assistance from others.
  3. To be able to meet all current and future cash outflows with passive cash inflows.

Emotional Independence
  1. To not be reliant on the opinions and emotions of others to be happy; to not allow others to influence one's emotional state.


I noticed a few weeks ago that you can't be taught how to be in a relationship, or how to relate to people. I say noticed, because I think I always kinda knew it, but I never actually realised it. If you know what I mean (and you should, you're smart aren't you?). Relationships, especially intimate ones, are things you have to work out on your own. And as you do, you find out more about yourself. From my relationships I think I've learned a few things about myself. I'm passionate and loving, but often superficial. I'm jealous and I don't bond with people readily. I'm trusting, but if you break my trust I'm slow to forgive. I can be manipulative if I let my self stop caring. I'm not very loyal and I apologise too much. I complain too much. I'm bad at understanding people. I take sides easily, but I don't often think badly of people.

I realised (properly realised, not just noticed) that I have better friends than I thought. I spoke to a guy at school yesterday, idly complaining about my general lack of direction, motivation or prospects. His reply was not what I expected. Instead of making a general statement about looking at the positives or some crap, as I am accustomed to, he made a sincere and thoughtful response that I didn't know how to answer. What he said itself wasn't what amazed me, but the fact that he actually went to the trouble of listening to me complaining and thought about what I said for more than the time it took to change the subject. In this fast-track brave new world, the fact that he stopped to think seems important.

This is my 199th post. I wanted to do something special for my 200th, but I can't think of one. Finally, I wanted to include an amazing quote from the book Magician by Raymond E. Feist. Unfortunately, I didn't note the page when I read it, and the thing's over 800 pages long. You should go read it, it's an amazing book. If I find the quote again it's going straight up here.

Found it. The internet is a wonderful place.

"There are many ways to love someone. Sometimes we want love so much, we're not too choosy about who we love. Other times, we make love such a pure and noble thing, no poor human can ever meet our vision. But for the most part, love is a recognition, an opportunity to say, "There is something about you I cherish." It doesn't entail marriage, or even physical love. There's love of parents, love of city or nation, love of life, and love of people. All different, all love."
-Raymond E. Feist, Magician. p. 438, 5th Ed.

Sweet dreams.

1 comment:

Camelgirl said...

Definitely a favourite. I'm excited for the 200th. I hope I'm an okay friend. :/ xx